post pregnancy weight loss motivation
Have you ever seen the movie Groundhog Day? I feel like thats my life.
Only every day isnt Groundhog Day, its The Day I Find Out My Baby Is Dead. Im laying on the exam table again, in the dark, staring at a monitor hoping for a flicker and seeing and empty sac again. Being told that maybe my dates are wrong (theyre not) and that well look again next week. Its the same room, the same people, the same words.
But its not actually the same day, just the same situation. Its not a chance to do it over and make it right. Time is passing. Im getting older. My daughter is getting older, getting further and further in age from her potential sibling who may or may not ever come. And its not the same baby. Its a new baby each time, a new hope, a new cause for joy, a unique, irreplaceable soul that I will never have the chance to hold or love.
The world continues on, but Im stuck in that room, even when Im not in it. I think of when I was last there, wonder how long until Ill be there again.
So I guess its not much like Groundhog Day at all.
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