kim pregnancy weight loss | Celebrate or Hold Back How to approach a pregnancy after loss

kim pregnancy weight loss

The title of this post insinuates its going to be a "how to". Not really. The decision of how to approach a pregnancy after loss - whether you celebrate wildly or hold back - is a very personal one. There is not one answer that is perfect for everyone, so Im not going to tell you there is. But Im going to share with you how Im approaching this pregnancy (and my past pregnancies after loss). And I also want you to know that there is no one right way to do it.

Motherhood is full of guilt and doubt and feelings of failure. Pregnancy after loss can be fraught with these feelings as well, in addition to fear and anger and (fill in the blank). Its important that you listen to your feelings, take care of yourself, and make the decisions that are best for your family and yourself.

That may come in the form of embracing all things pregnancy and baby from the time you see those two pink lines - taking bump pictures, buying baby items, sharing a carefully crafted pregnancy announcement early and everywhere.

Or it may mean keeping the pregnancy quiet, avoiding talk of the future and avoiding baby and pregnancy goods like the plague.

Neither one of these options means you are more pro-life, a better mother, or that love your baby any more or less.

Sometimes, self-preservation is the most important thing. Certain pregnancies I purposely distanced myself from the baby. I avoided making plans for "when the babys here". I didnt buy maternity clothes and steered clear of the baby clearance section. When those pregnancies ended, I was better able to cope with the loss. I was better able to be a wife to my husband and mother to my living child. I dont believe that my reluctance to celebrate my pregnancies in any way dishonored or disrespected the children I lost. I have always acknowledged that they existed, that they are unique human beings with eternal souls. And I have loved them since the moment I knew they existed. I dont think that, wherever they are, it matters one iota to them that I did not outwardly rejoice at their conception.

Ive heard and read from moms who firmly believe that they must make the most of every moment of their pregnancy. They must rejoice openly at the gift of life theyve been given. They share the news of their conception right away so that if their child does pass, they know that his short life was celebrated to the fullest. They buy gifts for the baby that will serve as mementos to remember their little one by if the worst happens. This is certainly one very valid way to approach pregnancy after loss. If this is what you need to help you through a pregnancy after loss (and certainly, the great hope and joy that comes with the approach can be such a light in the darkness), I think its wonderful.

Just make sure that youre taking that approach because you want to, not because you feel you must. A baby who enters and exists this world quietly, only known in the mind and heart of his mother, is no less valued than a child whose existence was widely known. Do not feel you have to force yourself to act a certain way during pregnancy. The love for your baby is enough, even if its not spoken of, even if its as hidden as the tiny child tucked in your womb. 

The longer Im pregnant, the more I begin to reach out from the cocoon Ive wrapped myself in. I originally thought I would wait until 20 weeks or more to find myself in the baby department or come home with maternity clothes but at 11 weeks, Ive done those things already. I took my first "bump picture" last week. But Im not yet ready to think about when the baby is here. Thats still so far off and there is so much pregnancy to go before then. Im not planning a nursery (we dont know where well be living anyway, so...) or thinking about any of the logistics of taking care of baby. I havent really looked into our birthing options yet (though again, even if I wanted to, we dont know where well be). But the pregnancy isnt a secret and Lucia especially talks about it quite a bit. Im finding that for me, this time, there is a delicate balance - celebrating a little, planning a little, but honoring my desire to hold back a bit, allowing myself to remember that pregnancy doesnt always end with a baby and that there is no guarantee well be a living family of four. Plan for best, prepare for the worst?

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healthy pregnancy weight loss | Impatience and Gratitude

healthy pregnancy weight loss

For a woman who is struggling with infertility or loss, it often can be very difficult to hear pregnant women complain about their pregnancies. Even if its not truly complaining but simply discussing the aches and pains of pregnancy, it can sound like a lack of gratitude. However, the physical and emotional tolls of pregnancy are real. How does one balance acknowledging the struggles of pregnancy with gratitude for the child the pregnancy brings?

Our baby is much desired and much loved, coming after a very difficult time of loss after loss. I am deeply thankful for this child and for the ability to carry a pregnancy to term. And yet these past several weeks have still been filled with exhaustion, discomfort, and pain. The joy of our child and pregnancy certainly allow me to view this suffering in a more positive light, however, it doesnt mute it. The sleepless nights, the back and hip pain, the headaches, the searing heartburn, etc, etc, etc. are all still there. And yet acknowledging those physical burdens makes me feel guilty. Ive never once thought that our baby isnt worth the pain, but even admitting that there is pain somehow seems wrong.

My "official" due date is tomorrow, though I think that my real due date passed last weekend. This end time has been much more difficult than I expected. My daughter was 8 days "late" and I was really calm and patient until she arrived. Im much more uncomfortable this time, but also emotionally much more anxious. I never worried during my first pregnancy, never considered that a pregnancy would - or even could, really - end with anything other than a healthy, living child. This time is different. Its not that Ive expected that something would go wrong, but every moment Ive been aware that something very well could go wrong. And so, as I reach the very end of this pregnancy, the urgency seemed heightened. Ive made it this far - nine months! - and Im just so, so very anxious to finally reach the finish line. Each day that goes by seems like an eternity. 

And yet, both the baby and I are healthy. While Im certainly tired and uncomfortable and in a bit of pain, Im overall feeling well for nine months pregnant. It seems so greedy to ask or pray for the baby to come now instead of waiting patiently. Ive already gotten nine months of a healthy pregnancy, something so many women pray and plead for. Why cant I suffer a little more? Why cant I enjoy the time I have left? Why must I want more? 

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baby weight loss stories | Fathers Day 2015

baby weight loss stories

If you know us, you know that Daniel and I are not big celebrators. Of any holiday, really. We do relish experiences though. That, and spending time together. 

Daniel took Friday off of work so that he could spend some time with Jack. They started with a visit to Ace Hardware to pick up some hardware (Daniel) and get popcorn (Jack). Then they made their way to the Creative Discovery Museum to play with the Thomas the Train exhibit. Finally, they went to Signal Point for a picnic lunch – Jack was nice enough to share his snacks with Daniel. I hope Jack remembers the times his daddy takes to spend with him. Isaac will be ready for daddy days before we know it! 

We have started including Isaac in our bedtime routine with Jack. He really seems to enjoy it when we read books together and sing songs. He watches Jack with utter fascination and then Jack gives him a sweet hug goodnight before he gets tucked in. 

On Sunday, Daniel requested that we grill salmon for lunch. We invited his dad over to celebrate with us. Im thankful that Jack and Isaac are getting to know both of their grandpas. 

While I didnt get to see my own dad on this Fathers Day, I did Skype with him. 

I am blessed to have a dad who has always been a part of my life. I enjoy our weekly Skype chats and look forward to the visits we have throughout the year. 

My parents are where my sense of adventure comes from, especially from my dad. Hopefully I will pass along that same adventurous desire to my boys.

Happy Fathers Day! Im grateful to have such wonderful men in my life to look up to and learn from.

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baby weight loss shakes | Isaac is Two Months Old

baby weight loss shakes

When Jack was 8 weeks old we thought he was huge, weighing in at 12lbs 11oz. But he has nothing on Isaac. At 8 weeks Isaac weighs 14lbs 13oz! My milk must be seriously rich.

Looking back at Jack at two months, it is fascinating to see how similar Isaac is to his big brother... He grunts like a little piggy with each feeding (though he is improving in this area). 

He wakes like clockwork at 3am and 5am each night. He can hold his head up, though it still bobbles some. And he is starting to coo and grab things.

Isaac has learned to close his fingers and grab onto my hair. And he has become fascinated with the rattle – he doesnt hold it yet, but watches intently if we shake it.

We survived his first round of immunizations. He was pitiful the day of, but a little Tylenol and lots of cuddles made things better.

With Jack we made great efforts to take him out with us, but I think that with Isaac we make even more of an effort. 

This probably has to do with 1) the fact that we are more sure of our parenting skills and 2) Jack still expects life to carry on as usual. So we just kind of expect Isaac to go along with whatever we are doing. And he does.

This months firsts include dropping Isaac off at childcare at the Y, visiting a farm, going swimming, going on our first hike as a family of four, a trip to the Creative Discovery Museum with friends, and just continuing with life as usual (eating out, church, parks, play dates, grocery shopping, etc.). 

Im so thankful that Isaac is an easy-going baby and just allows us to drag him along to everything we want to do!

Isaac has given us sweet smiles since he was born. Sometimes we even get a laugh. Most recently he will respond with a big grin if you grin at him.

He also has an incredible pouty lip and a pitiful whimper of a cry.

I would say that Isaacs favorite thing to do – by far – is sleeping. The boy will sleep anywhere. Even in the pool when we go swimming!

Speaking of sleeping, Isaac still sleeps in our room – he was a bit congested this month and were not comfortable having him away from us until we feel like he is breathing better. Though he has almost outgrown the Rock-N-Play that we have had him sleeping in, so we may be moving him sooner than were ready.

On the topic of growth, Isaac is 100+ percentile on weight (14lbs 13oz). At 23.5 inches long, he is in the 90th percentile on height and his big head is 96th percentile at 42cm. I have retired all of the newborn clothes and he wears 3-6 month stuff.

He is one big dude. As Daniel says, "I can see him growing every time he eats." Thank goodness for the weight training I have done is all I can say.

We have had quite a few people tell us that Isaac looks like Daniel. Daniel is jokingly offended since now that Isaac is big and bald, they think he looks him.

I know that Isaac is only 2 months old, but Im wondering if he is starting to teeth already. He gnaws on his paci (or my finger) and drools constantly.

We have been using cloth diapers with Isaac about 80% of the time. Out and about, disposable seems to work better. Especially when it is hot and I plan to carry him in the Ergo baby carrier (which we do often).

Over the last couple of weeks we started sitting Isaac in the high chair (at a reclined position) so that he can be with us during dinner. He is very social and I think he feels left out when we eat and dont include him. This also works (some of the time) when Im cooking – I just sit him in the high chair so he can watch.

Jack is a great big brother. He is very gentle with Isaac and holds him, offers to rock him, pats his head or shakes the rattle for him. 

I know he is anxious for Isaac to be more interactive, but this stage has been sweet too. 

*As with Jack, I will be posting monthly updates of Isaac on a quilt (inherited from my Grandma), next to a yellow Tonka truck (a toy from Daniels childhood). Isaac at One Month

A Look Back: Jack at One Month  |  Jack at Two Months
(We used a quilt from Daniels family for the Jack photos, along wit the Tonka truck from Daniels childhood).

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weight loss ketones pregnancy | When Pregnancy Comes with a Price Tag

weight loss ketones pregnancy

In the Catholic blogging world, its quite common to see posts about how children really arent that expensive, dont really have that many needs, etc. These are said, of course, to promote the idea of being open to life and that adding another child isnt as difficult as our society makes it out to be. And to an extent, I agree. Barring unforeseen incidents like health complications, inability to breastfeed, etc. a baby needs very little in his/her first couple years. Most baby necessities can be gotten secondhand for a fraction of the original price and there really arent all that many necessities.

We gave away 99% of our baby stuff (and dont regret it at all) so Im currently in the process of thinking through what we truly need and what we can skip. I dont think well need much and I have a feeling with generous friends and family, we be handed down or gifted all the true necessities.

But its not the baby Im worried about paying for, its the pregnancy. Over the course of two years weve spent quite a bit to get to this point. Even though I labored at home with all my miscarriages, they still werent cheap. Neither were the tests, surgery, and treatments. Now that I have a viable pregnancy, Im taking hCG shots and progesterone which together cost over $500 per month. Weve already met our insurance out of pocket maximum for the year, but hCG isnt covered by my insurance and we still have to pay the copay for prescriptions.  Our insurance year ends May 31, and while were grateful to have insurance coverage through Davids teaching job through the end of July, our deductible starts over so during those two months, well be paying out of pocket anyway.

Were moving out of state in six weeks. David does not have a job lined up yet. (Though hes been applying for jobs for months so were still hopeful hell have one before the move.) Its seemingly a terrible time financially to have a baby. Ill admit that Ive felt quite a bit of shame about being pregnant during such a difficult financial time. After all, it was our choice to try to conceive, even though it seemed unlikely I would get pregnant so quickly or stay pregnant.

Most of all though, more than shame or fear, Im angry that what comes so easily to most women, what is supposed to come easily, came with a lot of pain and a hefty price tag for me. In some ways I feel like weve had to pay for a baby, that our child is more the result of doctors bills than love between spouses.

I know Im not alone in this. I know there are other women out there that have felt that theyve had to pay for what should come naturally, should come free. So while I do believe that, in general, babies arent an overwhelming financial burden, sometimes pregnancy is and being "open to life" can have a crippling cost.

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post pregnancy weight loss hormones | My Fit Foods

post pregnancy weight loss hormones

I wanted to share with you a food shortcut that Ive used in the past that really works well when you dont have time to cook, but want to eat healthy.  I typically like to cook our meals, but this is another option.  My Fit Foods is pre-cooked, fresh, refrigerated packaged meals that you just heat up for a couple minutes and they are ready to eat.  A while back, we bought enough meals for our family for several lunches and dinners.  I buy the small, but the large would be about enough for two meals for me.  Normally, I might just buy a couple a week to take to work for lunch so I dont have to go out or bring leftovers.

One of my favorite meals is the Atlantic Baked Salmon with quinoa and broccoli.  But I also really like the salmon cakes, chicken wrap, and chili.  They have breakfasts too and tons of choices.

The nutrition information is provided on each package, like this for my salmon:

All of the meals are based on a  40% low glycemic carbohydrates, 40% lean protein, and 20% healthy fat.  

I know My Fit Foods is in Texas and opening a location in Phoenix too.  Im wondering if theres something similar where you live, and if so, have you tried it?  What do you think?  I remember before I tried it, the thought of pre-packaged foods sounded pretty bad, but they are actually good and you cant beat the convenience.   p.s.  Im not being compensation by MFF for this post- I just wanted to share:)

Read the rest of this post >>

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pregnancy weight loss transformations | Gratitude

pregnancy weight loss transformations

My heart was full of gratitude on Mothers Day weekend.

Last Mothers Day feels like a lifetime ago – a nightmare that doesnt feel fully real today. I had miscarried the Sunday before this special day and I felt empty. Last year Daniel gave me space to grieve. We spent a quiet day together as a family of three, taking a bike ride and trying to feel a sense of normal.

This year is so different. I was surrounded by family, I had a three-week old in my arms, and my life felt like it is overflowing. 

I am so grateful for family. For our newest child. That good things can happen even after something bad. I am thankful for friends. For all who prayed and cared for us during this difficult pregnancy and recovery. I feel gratitude to all of the women in my life who have showed me the many ways to love and mother. 

I know that this life holds many more hills and valleys that must be traveled and we will muddle through each step, but this year is a mountaintop compared to the desert that we walked through this time last year.

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