baby jaundice weight lose | Naming a Miscarried Baby

baby jaundice weight lose

Its a fairly common practice for parents to name the children theyve lost to miscarriage. Its certainly a matter of personal preference (please do not feel that you arent properly honoring your child or grieving appropriately if you decide not to name your child) but for many parents, it helps them connect with and find closure after the loss of their child. In many families, especially the Catholic families Im familiar with, miscarried children are talked about often, prayed for (and to, since we have reason to believe that they are in heaven and therefore can watch out and pray for us), and its easier to do these things if the children have names. I previously wrote about how we chose a name for our daughter and for the first two children we lost and Ive decided to share an update of that post with the names of the last two children I miscarried.

Ive always been a bit of a name junky (Im currently addicted to the Catholic naming blog Sancta Nomina) so the process of choosing our childrens names is one that is done with a lot of thought, prayer, and love. It meant so much to me that even though we lost four of our children so very young and will never get to experience the typical parenting moments with them as we will with our living child, I was still able to give them their names. It is one of the only ways that Ive been able to truly mother those babies.

Lucia Rose, born December 2011

Since we didnt find out whether Lucia was a boy or girl, we had to have two names at the ready.  The boys name was picked out before we were even pregnant (and in some ways before I even met my husband).  The girls name was much harder to nail down since it seemed David and I had opposite taste in names.  (We have since resolved our differences and have 3-4 girls names already picked out, in order, for future daughters.) My main choice for name inspiration was a book of women Saints that I owned.  I would thumb through the pages looking for names that I liked and only read the corresponding story if I felt the name was "in the running".  There were several names that were clearly not going to happen, like Hedwig and Hildegarde, but anything I half liked I ran by David and 99% he turned down on the spot.  Very early on, two front runners emerged: Alena and Lucia.  Alena was actually the favorite for quite some time and I cant remember why we decided on Lucia instead, but we did so somewhere between 20 and 30 weeks.  Lucias name is equally in honor of St. Lucy and Sr. Lucia of Fatima as my husband has a great devotion to Our Lady of Fatima.  Her middle name, Rose, was decided from the very beginning.  It is my middle name and a dear aunts middle name in honor of my great grandmother, Rosa. 

Francis Michael, miscarried October 2013

After my miscarriage in October 2013, several people urged us to name the baby.  It took a week or so before we felt comfortable with doing so.  Naming a miscarried child seemed so different than naming a living one.  We had names picked out for our next child before this one was even conceived, but it didnt feel right to use either one of them.  I know many parents feel comfortable giving the child a gender specific name based on their gut instincts, but I didnt have any feelings about the babys gender and was wrong with my gut instinct that Lucia was a boy, so we decided to choose a gender neutral name.  Searching "gender neutral Saint names" doesnt come up with many results, but I immediately found one that I loved: Francis.  Although more commonly associated with boys, Frances is a common enough girls name and St. Frances Cabrini is one of my favorite Saints.  The biggest decision we had to make was which spelling to use.  While researching the name, I found a source that said that until the last few centuries, both spellings were used interchangeably for boys and girls, so we simply went with the one that was most aesthetically appealing to me.  We chose the middle name Michael after the Archangel.  When I think of this baby, I think of the baby being either "my Frank or Frannie" and joyfully look forward to the day when I find out which nickname fits.

Julian Gabriel, miscarried February 2014

This may sound a bit strange, but I already chosen a name for our second miscarried child before I was even pregnant with him/her.  It was a gender neutral name that would only be used for another lost baby.  Not that I necessarily expected to miscarry again (and I truly did not think I would miscarry twice in a row) but it was a name that I came across when I was looking for a name for Francis and tucked away as another favorite.  It feels a bit odd to give a child a specific name because he/she passed before birth while we would have given that same child a different name had he/she been born.  But at the same time, we feel blessed to be able to do the only thing we can do to parent this child other than conception: name him/her.  We chose the name Julian Gabriel.  Julian, while usually considered masculine, is the name of many Catholic Saints, and the female Julian of Norwich (who though not canonized is often revered as a Saint).  Gabriel, like the middle name we chose for Francis, is in honor of the Archangel.

Adrienne Rafael, miscarried October 2014
Like with Julian, I also had some ideas in mind of names to use if I miscarried again before I even knew this little one existed. I suppose after two miscarriages and one live birth, it starts to feel like a loss is more likely (statistically, its not). Our third miscarriage was a very early "chemical pregnancy" so we werent sure I was even pregnant until I no longer was. We debated a little bit about whether we would name the baby or whether we would even count it as a pregnancy/loss but ultimately decided that our belief that life starts at conception meant we wouldnt treat this child any different than we did the babies we lost later on. I started to feel like we were running out of blatantly Catholic, gender neutral names, but I had a short list left and Adrian was on it. Since Francis and Julian are more masculine in appearance, we decided on the feminine spelling Adrienne. Again, Rafael is for the Archangel and we chose that spelling because I love the Spanish language and prefer the pronunciation (rah-fiy-EHL) that is similar to the Spanish.

Christian Michael, miscarried December 2014
After we lost our last baby, I had a hard time coming up with any name ideas. There are some more available that fit the Saint/biblical and gender neutral categories (see below) but I couldnt seem to find one that fit for our baby. I dont know why I initially thought of Christian, but once I did, it just seemed right. Although usually a boys name, I worked with a girl named Christian in college so it has a very gender neutral feel to me. We were short-sighted (or maybe it was just wishful thinking) when we decided to use the names of the Archangels as middle names for our miscarried babies since there are only three named Archangels. It didnt feel right to break with the tradition, so we decided to cycle back through and used Michael again.




A few of the ideas that we didnt use (yet) but might be helpful for couples searching for gender neutral Catholic names: 

Jean - in English, its a girls name; in French, its the male name John
Jordan - for the Jordan River
Valentine
Alex - for Alexander or Alexandra, or you could maybe even the full name Alexis - Im familiar with it as a girls name, but apparently its a boys name too
Hilary - for the male St. Hilary, though its more often a female name now
Karol/Carol - for St. John Paul II whose name was Karol Wojtyla
Aaron/Erin/Aeron
Andy - for Andrew or Andrea - or even the full Andrea since it is a boys name in other cultures, like singer Andrea Bocelli
Remy
Quinn - for Ven. Edel Quinn
Noel - means "Christmas" in French
Jude
Ariel - one of names for Jerusalem, probably most well known as The Little Mermaid, it can also be a boys name like Israeli prime minister Ariel Sharon

For more ideas, see Kates post at Sancta Nomina. If none of these names work for you, (affiliate link) The Catholic Baby Name Book may be another helpful resource. If you have any other ideas, please leave them in the comments and Id be happy to add them to the list!

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after pregnancy weight loss tips in hindi | Laparoscopy Surgery for Endometriosis

after pregnancy weight loss tips in hindi

A few weeks ago, I received a request to share more about the laparoscopy I had in January.  When I was preparing for surgery, I searched the internet for blog posts about the procedure so I could get an accurate picture of what recovery would be like (and line up appropriate help). So I figured it might be useful if I shared my experiences as a blog post so that others could read it as well.

My surgery:
My laparoscopy was scheduled as an exploratory surgery.  My cycles didnt show much in the way of endometriosis symptoms, but since I had had recurrent pregnancy loss that didnt seem to have other explanations (I did have low progesterone but was on progesterone shots for two of my pregnancies and still miscarried), my doctor thought there was a good chance that I did indeed have endometriosis. According to the NaPro Technology website, "In women with repetitive miscarriage, 85% will have endometriosis." The link between miscarriage and endometriosis hasnt been well researched, but its suggested that the endometriosis causes inflammation, which interferes with implantation. Anyway, since we were running out of testing options, the laparoscopy was really our next step. (UPDATE: This topic seems to finally be getting some attention! A recent study in Scotland showed that "women with endometriosis are at an increased risk of miscarriage and ectopic pregnancy. The research further found that women with a history of endometriosis whose pregnancies progressed beyond 24 weeks were found to be at a higher than average risk of complications, including haemorrhage (ante- and postpartum) and preterm birth.")

In addition to the laparoscopy, I was also scheduled for a hysteroscopy (a scope is inserted up the vagina to look at cervix and inside of the uterus) to check for scarring, polyps or other irregularity inside my uterus and for dye to be pushed through my fallopian tubes to clear them if they were blocked (I dont think it was actually a hysterosalpingogram since I dont think that x-rays were taken during the process, but maybe they were?). My fallopian tubes were clear and my uterus looked perfectly normal.

Since it was an exploratory surgery, I didnt know what to expect going in since I wasnt sure what would be found. My doctor planned to remove any endometriosis that he saw the length of the surgery (and recovery) would depend on the extent of endometriosis present. If none was found, I would only have one small incision in my belly button. As it turns out, I did have extensive endometriosis, which caused some of my organs to adhere to one another, and an endometrioma (a cyst of endometrial tissue) on one ovary. I ended up with three incision, one in my belly button and one on each side close to my hip bones. Each is less than a half inch long. The surgery took about 2 hours.

What exactly is a laparoscopy?
I realized after my surgery that most of my family and friends didnt realize exactly what happened during my surgery. They seemed to think that the endometriosis was removed from the inside of my uterus. That is not the case. Endometrial tissue is supposed to be on the inside of the uterus. During a womans cycle, the endometrium in her uterus builds up, providing, in essence, a cushion in which a fertilized egg can implant. If no pregnancy occurs, the endometrium leaves the body (menstruation). This is normal and healthy. Endometriosis occurs when endometrial tissue is located outside of the uterus (the reason why this occurs is still unknown, though there are a few theories) on various organs and ligaments in the abdominal cavity, which often causes them to adhere together.

Therefore, surgery to look for/remove endometriosis occurs outside the uterus in the abdominal cavity. A small incision is made in the abdomen and a scope is inserted to look around the abdominal cavity. If endometriosis (or anything else) is found and needs to be removed, its usually done through that small incision and/or a few others, though sometimes bigger incisions are necessary. Gas is pumped into the abdominal cavity so that the doctor has space to look at the organs and perform the necessary excision/cauterization of endometrial tissue.

Preparation:
Here are a few of the things that I did to prepare for surgery that I would suggest someone else does --

• Lined up someone to care for my daughter during the surgery and afterward. A family friend took care of Lucia the day of and my mom flew out the next day to stay with us for a week. If my mom didnt come out, it would have been nice to have a meal train set up in addition to child care for Lucia for the following week. (Or a house stocked full of easy to make items, like yogurts, soups I just had to heat up, and takeout menus.) I probably could have survived alone with Lucia after the first four or five days or so, but having a full week and a half of rest made sure that I didnt overdo it. And, from what Ive read, recovery can vary widely, so it was quite possible that my recovery could have been slower. Having help lined up for longer than needed is much less of a problem than not having help for long enough.
• Had Gas-X and a heating pad at the ready. Before my surgery, I repeatedly read that the main source of pain after a laparoscopy was not the incisions but the gas that was pumped into the abdominal cavity. This gas usually collects in the shoulders and neck when you sit/stand and can be very uncomfortable. A heating pad and Gas-X are said to help. I didnt actually have much of this pain (my doctor said he was able to get most of the gas out after the procedure) but I was glad I had these on hand just in case and did use them minimally the first few days.
• Made sure I had an appropriate wardrobe. Because of the gas (ie bloating) and location of incisions, wearing jeans isnt comfortable for a while. I was able to fit into regular jeans pretty quickly (other women reported it being a few weeks until bloating went down though), but the waist band rubbed against my sore incisions. Skirts and paints with stretchy/jersey waistbands were necessary for the first 1-2 weeks for me. I went through the clothes I had to make sure I had at least a few options to wear. I did, but had that not been the case, I would have shopped some thrift stores so get enough bottoms to last me between laundry loads.
• Prepared things to do while recovering. The first few days were hard to read because of the pain medication, so I knitted and watched some Netflix shows Id been wanting to watch but saved up specifically for after surgery. My sister-in-law sent me a few new books Id been wanting to read, so that was helpful to pass the time after the first few days. You are supposed to get up and walk around to help you heal, so youre not on bed rest, but I was very tired and in bed resting much more than usual. 
• Followed the hospital rules. Im sure this goes without saying, but I followed the directions given to me at my pre-op appointment to a T. Not just the obvious things like no food or drink after midnight (if I had to do it again, I would have had several glasses of water the night before because I felt SO dehydrated all morning before my surgery), but also the light meal the night before, etc. 

Recovery:
When I read other blog posts and asked other women whod had this surgery about their recovery time, I found a wide range from from only a few days to six weeks. Mine fell on the shorter end. It took me a good two weeks to feel 90% and about a month before I was back to 100%, but after about 4 days, the initial pain and weakness was gone. (As someone mentioned, I conceived less than two weeks after the surgery, so recovery couldnt have been too awful.) I had the surgery on a Friday and was back to caring for Lucia single-handedly during the day on the Monday a week and a half later. I would have loved a few extra days of rest during the day because I was still tired and moved a bit slow, but I survived just fine. I wouldnt suggest someone go back to a physical job that quickly, but a desk job I could have managed.

I only needed the prescription pain medication for the two days after the surgery, then I switched to over-the-counter ibuprofen. I only took that for a few more days as needed (not all day long) and stopped taking any pain medication about 4 days after the surgery. After that point, most of the pain was related to quick abdominal movements (like sitting up in bed quickly, forgetting that I had just had surgery - ouch) or accidentally bumping my incisions.

Trying Again:
Though not everyone has endometriosis removed to conceive, many do, so I thought I would mention this piece real quick. My doctor usually does laparoscopies during the first half of his patients cycles so that they can start trying to conceive the very same cycle. Other women I talked to said their doctors told them to wait 1-2 full cycles after their surgery before trying to conceive. So there isnt a set amount of time. My doctor encourages trying right away because endometriosis often returns so often the chances concept decrease over time as the endometriosis returns and spreads.

Of course, regardless of what my doctor said, it was up to David and me to make our own decision about how long we wanted to wait. The surgery didnt delay ovulation like I figured it would  (it did affect my mucus buildup, but peak was on the same day it is almost every cycle), so I actually ovulated much closer to the surgery than I expected. Since I was feeling up to *ahem* relations, we decided to try right away, in part because it usually took us several months to get pregnant. Apparently, with the endometriosis gone, we get pregnant much quicker because we conceived right away, which we did not expect at all. (Though it makes sense - after my surgery, my doctor said he was surprised Id been able to get pregnant at all in the past few years because of the extent of the endometriosis.) Thankfully, I already felt fully recovered from the surgery by the time I got a positive pregnancy test and before I had any pregnancy symptoms.


Anything I didnt cover that youd like to ask about? Feel free to ask questions. If youd like them to be anonymous, feel free to email me. And if you do comment here, make sure your account is linked to your email address so I can reply directly to you, especially if I dont feel comfortable answering a specific question in a public manner.

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weight loss in pregnancy causes | Being a Mother Lite or Proving Yourself as a Mother of One

weight loss in pregnancy causes

As this pregnancy continues on and the likelihood that Ill be able to hold a living child in my arms later this year increases, Ive noticed an odd sense of relief. Not that my child might live - no, that relief is not odd at all - but relief that I might finally be considered a "real mother".

Thats a strange phrase, I know. By "real mother" I dont mean biological mother. (I think adoptive mothers are just as "real" as biological mothers.) And youre really either a mother or youre not, right? I have a daughter, so I am certainly a mother. But thats not how other people always see me. As the mother of one, Im often regarded by other mothers as more of a fluke than a "real mother", somehow a little less than or maybe a "mother lite". Its as if the real test of motherhood is the ability to juggle the responsibilities of multiple children and not in fact the ability to mother the child(ren) you do have.

No one looks to a mother of one as a parenting expert. No one asks a mother of one for advice. No matter how well a child turns out, it can always just be attributed to "luck", the childs particular temperament and personality, or even to the environment in which the child was born, but certainly not that childs mother. There is always this elephant in the room: "But what if she had to deal with a truly difficult child?" or "Im sure Junior would have turned out well no matter what she did."

Of course, nature plays a role in how children develop. We all know that person who excelled despite a terrible home environment or child who turned to a life of crime despite wonderful parents. But nurture surely has a say too. Unless youre the mother of an only child. In that case, your nurturing played no role. No matter how much time you spend agonizing over parenting decisions and loving and caring for your child, you really just dont have that much effect. Because youre the mother of one and you are and always will be inexperienced, bumbling through motherhood without the opportunity to practice your mothering skills on more little souls.

Im exaggerating a bit, obviously. Certainly not everyone treats me this way, but I regularly receive comments that allude to this sort of thinking and on several occasions have been told point blank that my experience or input doesnt matter because Im only the mom of one. I dont want to be seen as a parenting expert or be sought out for advice, but I want to be taken seriously in conversations about parenting and children (and lets face it, pretty much every get together with other moms is dominated by these conversations). I dont want to have to fight to be acknowledged as a "real mother" and I want the real, hard efforts I make as a mom to be recognized. Im tired of having to always justify something that I have no control over. I didnt ask to be the mother of only one.

Yes, in many ways being a mom of one is easier than being a mom of many (or even just two). But thank goodness for that because its nice to have a little bit of consolation while Im dealing with the difficulties of recurrent loss and secondary infertility. Ill be the first to admit that there are benefits to an only child, yet I shouldnt be made to feel guilty that I enjoy those benefits. There are also some ways in which having an only child is harder, and Im tired of having to pretend those dont exist or else be told that they dont.

So here I am, most likely about to end my time as a mother of "only one". I will no longer have to deal with this. But so many others will. And I wish there were an answer, a way of making all mothers feel like valuable, capable, "real" mothers. I dont know what that answer is, but I want every mother of one to know that you are a mother in every sense of the word. Having another child would change many things about the way you parent, but it would not make you any more a mother. The love you have for a child and the sacrifices you make matter just as much as the love and sacrifices of a mother of many. Your life is different, but it is not less valuable. Your motherhood is whole, even if your hands are not full.

After all, the mother of our Savior was the mother of "only" One, yet her Son thought her mothering spirit and experience was sufficient to give her as a mother to us all.

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