baby losing weight in womb | A lovely gift for a friend after loss giveaway

baby losing weight in womb

A few weeks ago, an email popped into my inbox from the Happy Mommy Box that introducing the themed boxes they offer. Happy Mommy Boxes are meant to be encouragement for moms and make especially great gifts for a mom friend who needs a little special surprise to brighten her day. I had seen the boxes before (and obviously signed up for email updates); they were filled with fun little surprises - mugs or bags with encouraging quotes, jewelry or hair ties, etc. In essence, things that are fun to open, pretty to look at, and let you know that the sender wanted to encourage and inspire you in your vocation of motherhood.

So, I opened the email expecting to see more of that. And I did. But I was also shocked, and more that a bit touched, to see that one of the boxes offered was a Grief and Loss Themed Box. Its not often (or maybe ever?) that Ive seen a company geared toward moms that is inclusive of moms who have experienced loss. When searching for pregnancy loss gifts in the past, Ive only seen them sold through companies (mostly small etsy businesses) geared directly toward pregnancy loss. So just the fact that this box even exists sets Happy Mommy Box apart.

The little gifts and cards Ive received after my losses have meant so very much to me. Just knowing that someone is thinking about me and understands the depths of my loss is so helpful to the grieving process. So many times, women feel very alone after a loss. Receiving a carefully picked gift in the mail is such a blessing. But its often hard, especially if you have not experienced loss on your own, to know what to send. The Grief and Loss Themed Box takes the guesswork out of the gift and puts together some very thoughtful items:

"You are my beloved" print. Something lovely to hang in your home to remember that even during the darkest times, you are loved.

"Bind my wandering hear to thee" journal. A place to write down your thoughts and prayers, hopes and fears, anger and sadness.

Psalm 34:18 hand stamped necklace. "The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit." What a perfect scripture passage to remember that the Lord is near.

Elastic headbands. A little something pretty is especially helpful when you dont have the energy to care for yourself and feel worn down spiritually.

I think this box would make the most lovely gift for someone who has recently lost a baby. My only concern is that maybe the "Happy Mommy Box" packaging might be a sting at first, especially if she has no other living children.. But Im sure once she opened it, she wouldnt mind anymore because the gifts inside are not for the "happy mommy" but perfectly curated for the grieving mother.

Each of the items in the box are available for individual purchase if you did not want to send an entire box, and you can also make a customized box from mixing and matching the items available. (Its much cheaper to buy items in a box than individually if youre planning to buy a few items.)

After seeing the Grief and Loss Box, I contacted Happy Mommy Box to see if they would be willing to give away a box to one of my readers. And they said yes! Use the Rafflecopter below to enter. Open to residents of the US and Canada. PLEASE, Im asking that you only enter if either you have lost a baby yourself or, if you win, you plan to have the box sent to a friend who has lost a baby.  Thank you! 

a Rafflecopter giveaway

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pregnancy and losing weight in first trimester | Un deserving

pregnancy and losing weight in first trimester

Things have been going well for us recently. Im 15 weeks pregnant and all seems healthy and normal. Were moving back near family. David was offered a job that is perfect for his background and future career development AND will give the the ability to stay at home with my children. I feel greatly blessed and, honestly, completely unworthy.

Weve been married almost five years and much of our marriage has been spent struggling with one thing or another - several out-of-state moves, unemployment and financial worries, multiple miscarriages, etc. But Ive never felt that we deserved for things to be better. Life is hard. There are no guarantees. And things always could have been worse. I had a wonderful husband and beautiful daughter and even when times were hard and we needed help, we always had a place to live and food to eat. Now that things are looking up, I feel very undeserving. Why should we be given so many blessings when there are so many others still waiting for a baby or a job or a spouse? Even though weve gone through medical treatments to fix my health issues so we could have a viable pregnancy and David has worked hard (and spent many years in school) so that he could get a good job, these things still feel like such unmerited blessings.

I recently read a post on "being the fertile friend". I definitely wouldnt consider myself the "fertile friend", but Im not infertile either. And the pit in the stomach feeling when I think of all my friends that have been waiting for babies longer than me - I can totally relate to that. Even though Ive had my share of fertility struggles, there is always someone who is suffering more, who has had more miscarriages, who has no children. I never think, "I deserve this baby after what Ive gone through." I always think, "There are other women so much more deserving." Because there are.

Many pregnancy after loss websites and resources list pregnancy affirmations to help women cope with anxiety during a pregnancy after loss. Ive found a few affirmations that have been very helpful to me (this is my favorite) but there are several Ive come across that leave a bad taste in my mouth. They are along the lines of "I deserve a healthy baby and pregnancy," or "I deserve the best life has to offer".

In our society, we often invest heavily in the ideas of "fairness" or "entitlement" or "output matching input"  but its obvious that nothing in this world follows those ideals. A college graduate may deserve a good career, but there are many who struggle at dead-end jobs below a living wage. Someone who has always made healthful life choices may deserve good health, but we all know a person like that struggling with cancer or another debilitating illness. Stable, loving couples struggle with infertility while abusive parents have more children they dont want and wont care for.

As a Christian, I dont believe that anything is owed to me, especially not a child. A baby is always a gift, a completely undeserved gift. And Christianity is not based on rewards for good behavior or results equal to effort. Thank goodness for that because nothing I do could ever be worthy of Christs sacrifice for my sins. Christianity is not a promise of comfort or ease. Its not safe or easy. Its full of crosses and suffering, disappointments and pain. But also total undeserved grace, blessings, and gifts.

I cant explain why right now my family is being showered in blessings when others are crushed under the weight of ever-increasing suffering, other than to say that we live in a world in which sin twists Gods original design and nothing makes sense because nothing is as it should be. Im mindful even in the midst of the goodness that currently surrounds us that all in this world is temporary, blessings just as much as sufferings. And I pray often for those who are waiting for their blessings because I know that it was the prayers of others that carried us through our toughest times.

At the heart of all of the blessings and sufferings of this world, there is a light, a hope of the world to come. All else changes, all else is fleeting, but the light is constant. In good times, its sometimes harder to keep my eyes on that light. The worldly goodness around us makes the light of Christ less noticeable, like the beam of a flashlight at midday. In the darkness of suffering and pain, that light stands in stark contrast - a beacon in the starless night. And so, there is a piece of me that is scared. Scared that the goodness of this world will detract me from my desire for God. Scared that Ill take these blessings for granted. Scared that Ill be lulled into complacency. Scared that someday Ill look at my life and feel deserving of the goodness in it, entitled to more. Oh, that is a scary thing indeed.

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post pregnancy weight loss india | Fool me once

post pregnancy weight loss india

We all know how the saying goes: "Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me." I feel like there is a similar unspoken saying for miscarriage: "Miscarry once, what a shame! Miscarry twice, what bad luck! Miscarry three or more times, its all your fault!"

In my own experience and from what Ive heard from other women, it seems that at some magic number, others stop caring about your losses. The sympathy ends and is instead replaced by blame.

Well, youve miscarried X times before, you knew this might happen again.

Dont expect sympathy from me. If you didnt want to go through a miscarriage again, you shouldnt have gotten pregnant.

Maybe Gods trying to tell you something. 

I think, in part, some of this is due to misconceptions about miscarriage. A recent study found that a large majority of Americans believe myths about miscarriage, myths that often put the blame on the women who go through this instead of understanding the medical truths behind loss. Though there werent any questions asked about this, I suspect that most Americans would also overestimate the risks of  miscarriage in subsequent pregnancies. The truth is that even for women who have had four or more consecutive miscarriages, they have a 50-70% chance (depending on the study) of carrying the next pregnancy to term without medical intervention. For someone who has had medical treatment, the chances of having the next pregnancy result in a healthy, full term pregnancy is even higher. Unless you know you have one of a few specific conditions, doctors would advise you to keep trying.

But even if you know you have a high chance of miscarrying again and purposely conceive, a miscarriage is still not your fault. Its still the loss of a child and a tragedy. And a woman deserves just as much support and compassion at losing her fourth or her ninth or her fifteenth child as she does for her first. The value of human life does not decrease as the likelihood for loss increases.

Each of my six children is a unique human being. Unique genes, unique soul. Each one has his or her own preferences, personality, and appearance. I mourn the four we lost not as lost potentials, but as unique individuals. Though I bonded most with our second baby, the first child we lost, each child leaves her own hole in my heart that cannot be filled by anyone else. This baby we are currently expecting is a wonderful blessing but not a replacement for the children weve lost.

Were coming up on two due dates - one next week and one next month - and even being pregnant with another child, I still keenly feel the loss of those two babies that would have been born around this time. It still hurts to look down at my stomach and see a small 20 week bump instead of a 39 week monstrosity or a still-very-large-and-daunting 35 week one. I still cry often because I miss those little ones. The world didnt grieve them with me. In fact, many people think it would have been better off if they had never even been conceived. What did their short lives do but break my heart? And yet, Im so grateful that my husband and I had the courage to conceive them. I am so glad that they exist. With each one of my six children, I cooperated with God in His plan of creation and I have to believe that all of their souls, not just those of my living children, are needed, necessary.

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