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extreme weight loss during pregnancy | October 10 Reunion Group

Jumat, 15 April 2016

extreme weight loss during pregnancy


I attended a Reunion Group this week and saw Patty, Janine T, Bill and Diana and Rosemary and her husband. We were the reunion-ers. In the loss group were several couples, one couple in particular who were there for a repeat. Their second pregnancy ended in loss recently. I remmebered them immediately from the first time I spoke at their group. Talk about UNFAIRNESS.

I sat and listened to the loss group members relay their experiences, and went through my part with my usual shaking and nerous voice. It is still painful to talk about, even at 7+ years. I wonder what the next 7 will be like.

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weight loss during end of pregnancy | Ralph

Minggu, 03 April 2016

weight loss during end of pregnancy


I saw Ralph last Saturday at Mike and Maries holiday party. I havent seen him in two years, not since the last time Eric and I were able to be at M&Ms holiday party. Ralph is a friend of my husband, they used to work for the same company, and Ralph lives a mere seven minutes from our house (not that we ever see him!)

What distinguishes Ralph to me is that he knew me during my happiest time and through my saddest, a span of only three years. When I met Ralph, we hit it off right away - he was a good buddy of Erics and through lots of fun times, parties and outings, we had a blast. Were even the same sign, Capricorn, but dont ask me what that might have to do with anything.

After Solomon, I was a different person. And somehow Ralph gave me laughs two and three. It sounds funny to write it like that but thats how it was.

At Atlantis in the Bahamas, I spent a miserable week. This was Erics company trip and he worked really hard to earn it. I was devastated as Id planned to be pregnant, nearly 8 months so and here I was, nothing. One night we were at one of the club with Ralph, Mike, Marie and some others. All of a sudden, Ralph starts rapping to a Madonna song, I forget which one. The hilarity of the situation is hard to capture. Ralph was a 40-ish, short, Italian, divorced-with-no-children, guy from Queens. He did not fit any mold of any rapper anywhere on the planet. The joy I felt at laughing in relief could be measured on the Richter scale. That was laugh #2.

Of course I was pregnant for the third time in January 2001, dreading what would happen in the future. Eric convinced me we should go away for a ski weekend, in which I wouldnt ski, go snow-mobiling, drink or sit in the hot tub. So I read a book, White Oleander by Janet Fitch, and an issue of "O" - the magazine Oprah Winfrey puts out. Ralph, Mike and Marie and assorted brothers, brothers-in-laws and friends of Mike and Ralphs were also at the cabin. I forgot which meal it was, we were all gathered around. Everyone seemed to be enjoying themselves. All of a sudden, Ralph starts to sink. Now mind you he is already sitting in a chair at the dinner table and seems to be moving south involuntarily. Turns out, the chair rail started to deteriorate right before everyones eyes. We were all a ball of hysterics, even me. When Ralph finally emerged from the floor, you could tell he thought this was just the funniest thing.

We spoke about Ralphs chair incident on Saturday, and Ive been meaning to post since then. When I think back to the dark time, its hard to remember that there were glimpses of light. And Ralph is someone whom I lease expected to be the light-giver.

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weight loss exercise during pregnancy | 8

Rabu, 30 Maret 2016

weight loss exercise during pregnancy


I did not think last week would ever end. Tuesday started with what would have been my grandmothers 90th birthday. I had been mentally planning her party since her 89th birthday.

Saturday was 8 years. 8 years. I cannot believe it. And I had to get through the day without my grandmother. Eric sent Adam over to me to tell me Solomon loves me. Hearing his name come out of Adams mouth was shocking, but brought me to a moments reality during a very cloudy morning.

I was cold all day and tried to avoid writing the date. Stupid me had to write 3 checks and in the moment I wrote it 3/8/08 but wouldnt record it in the checkbook.

I feel guilty that I did not look at Solomons photos, something I always do on his anniversary. Instead, I Eric and I shopped, had lunch and promptly fell asleep from our big meal. By nighttime, Id curled up with a book, Bed Rest, which was pleasant enough. But I stayed up only until it was a respectable hour to go to sleep.

When I woke on Sunday, I felt lighter because I had survived Solomons day, again, without him.

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baby weight loss in first week uk | Alison is 6 today!

Jumat, 25 Maret 2016

baby weight loss in first week uk


Alison is 6 today. It hardly seems like she should be this up in years already. I am thankful for every second I have spent with her. She is my joy!

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weight loss during pregnancy for obese | August 1

weight loss during pregnancy for obese


Always a tough day for me. It is Rebeccas birthday. At the time I was supposed to celebrating the joy of having my first child while my best friend enjoyed the birth of hers.

Solomon and Rebecca were due within days of each other. I was so raw when Jon called to say she had been born and that mother and baby were doing well. Not the mother and baby I knew, not me, not Solomon. I couldnt get out of bed and hoped to be forgiven for being such a rotten friend.

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weight loss during early pregnancy normal | Today

Selasa, 15 Maret 2016

weight loss during early pregnancy normal


Solomon, I miss you today. Not that I dont miss you everyday, I do. Just today is your big brother Alexs bar mitzvah and I wish you were here with us to celebrate. He wanted to meet you so much and was so brave.

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baby losing weight in hospital | Come and gone

Jumat, 19 Februari 2016

baby losing weight in hospital


Another Walk to Remember has come and gone and this is the first time I have been able to sit and write a word or two. It was a blustery day filled with less people than I expected. In greeting my fellow journeyers and others I learned Anna would not be there. Like an arrow through my heart the pain shot - how could I speak without Anna?
Anna was my lifeline and while in reality I would have had to get through my grief eventually, I know my journey would have been different without her. She provided the unconditional support. She was there morning, noon and night through my grief and subsequent pregnancies. I owe so much to her for returning me to some semblance of a life.
And now she would not be at the event, our Walk to Remember, and I was crushed.
***
On the heels of the Walk was the anniversary of Baby Z. I dont really know when I lost him, but 10/23/00 is the day I mark since it is the day of the D&C to remove what might have been from me. I was so busy I didnt even get to light a candle. But I was busy with the blessings that he paved the way for.


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weight loss during pregnancy hcg | Kindergarten Here I Come

Rabu, 17 Februari 2016

weight loss during pregnancy hcg


While Alison had her first day of Kindergarten two days ago, she goes a full day today. At about the four-hour mark, I started to miss her. Weve never been apart this long on a typical day.

For her first day we made a Kindergarten Here I Come banner, that she displayed and was photographed with. I matched my excitement level to hers, not wanting mine to diminish hers. But today, its another story.

I ate lunch with my son, I played with my son, I ran errands with my son. And while everyone who knows me knows how much Adam and I adore each other, Im used to my little girls presence. Ive checked in her room twice, to make sure shes not taking a nap. Ive stood at my door, looking out for the bus...the bus that is scheduled to come in over an hour.

The first two days of school, the half days, pshaw, they were nothing. She arrived home in time for lunch and that was that. Were they to ease Alison into a school routine, or were they to wean me and the other mothers from the daily presence of our children?

Today, the whole day, the day that begins all the other seven-hour days for the next thirteen years. I emailed my husband at work how sad I am, how unexpectedly sad I feel. I didnt "lose" Alison, the way I lost Solomon. I know right where she is. And it is not with me.

I wonder how I would have felt if this were Solomon going to school. Would I have had a closeness with him the way I do with Alison and Adam? It will remain a silent wonder.

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