weight loss during first weeks of pregnancy | 7 Year Itch

weight loss during first weeks of pregnancy

Today is 7 years since I lost Solomon. I cannot believe it. I woke up this morning and hugged Adam as tightly as I could. I gave Alison extra kisses goodbye at the bus stop.

I have the 7-year itch. I will always have a dormant longing for Solomon. I long to know so much. Would his eyes have been blue like my daughters or brown like my sons? Would the weight of his body as he was nursing felt skinny like Adam or bulky like Alison? Would he have walked late, talked early, liked peas or apples. Things I will never know in this lifetime.

Today is the only day each year I allow myself to ask "why?" Why did this happen to me? I dont wallow anymore...the "why" is more of a curiousity in my life, a question that will never be answered. And even if it was, what difference would it make? Solomon is the emptiness in my heart that will always be there.

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weight loss during pregnancy forum | The day my husband forbids me to mention

weight loss during pregnancy forum

Today is the day my husband forbids me to mention. Maybe not forbids, but he has let me know in no uncertain terms, not to bring it up.

Today is the day that my first child was supposed to be born. Based on my recording keeping and the calculated dates of ovulation, conception and sonogram-dating, every date came to the conclusion July 28th was the BIG DAY. Eric feels theres no point recalling this day, since we dont recall the due dates of Alison and Adam. I of course argue his point. We do mention Alisons due date because it was my mothers birthday and theres not much to say about Adams since it was pretty much on his birthday. His dates were always off but I firmly believe he was due March 29 but I couldnt have a scheduled C on Saturday so Friday March 28th it was.

When July 28, 2000 came, I was in a hotel in Washington DC, fantasizing Room Service would deliver a baby to me, sobbing in Erics arms, and listening to the very last broadcast of Regis and KathyLee - a program I had never watched. It was a horrible day for me and thinking back I can remember the rawness I felt, as if someone stripped by skin and I was just a bunch of bones with a broken heart.

Today in 2007, Im not much happier. Oh there have been joyous times, and there will continue to be. But I am still deeply saddened by my grandmothers death on July 4th and Im feeling a lot of that rawness today. At least I have my children, whove been extremely tolerant of their moody mommy.

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weight loss during pregnancy for obese | August 1

weight loss during pregnancy for obese

Always a tough day for me. It is Rebeccas birthday. At the time I was supposed to celebrating the joy of having my first child while my best friend enjoyed the birth of hers.

Solomon and Rebecca were due within days of each other. I was so raw when Jon called to say she had been born and that mother and baby were doing well. Not the mother and baby I knew, not me, not Solomon. I couldnt get out of bed and hoped to be forgiven for being such a rotten friend.

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huge weight loss during pregnancy | Wednesday Night Writers Group

huge weight loss during pregnancy

Last night I went to "my writers group" at the library. It was actually one of the few times in this group that I didnt write about Solomon or loss, pain, heartache and sadness. The instructor is a local author, poet and published novelist, and she is great: Barbara Novack. She is very positive and encouraging.

Erica Jong is quoted as saying something like "writing is the balm of grief." And so it is.

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